Monday, March 20, 2006

And a broken boot, to boot.

Damn it.

This morning I slipped on ice in the driveway and fell hard on my ass, just a little over a week after falling ass over teakettle down a flight of stairs. Grace, my name is not.

In the process of the fall, I didn't notice that I broke the heel of my favorite pair of boots, until I got to the office. I can walk on it, sort of, but it sounds like a creaky bedframe when I do. [I sound like this walking down the hall... creaaaaaaaaaak creeeak creaaaaaaaak creeeak....]

I've been violently sick all weekend, so I got up at 4:00 a.m. and went into work to wrap up some things I desperately needed to finish. But alas, my computer, she is dead. Or is playing possum, and I'm really not that happy with her right now. I'm techie enough to know how to run just some basic diagnostics, and the hardware is all fine... but the IT people this morning were like "have you tried..." Look, I'd try shaking a rubber chicken at it while chanting in a foreign tongue if it'd help. Apparently I tried things that they've not even contemplated, and they said I pretty much diagnosed the problem myself... the operating system is, in my rather terse explanation to them this morning "FUCKED." Bill Gates, you're on my shit list right now, as if you care.

Oh, and this weekend my home laptop decided it was having some impotence problems. The pin in the screen that holds it open decided that it was just too much effort to hold up the weight of my words and smashed my fingers to bits. Multiple times. I guess I'm not the forgiving sort, because instead of taking it to therapy to figure out what the hell it's problem is and why it can't keep it up - I got pissed and on a whim bought a new laptop that is being built as we speak. Er, as I type... whatever. Note: Don't screw with me, as you're easily replacable.

And I introduced myself to the neighbors this weekend ~ by uh, calling the cops on them, er animal control division at least. A man was out with an airgun shooting squirrels out of the tree, and while I realize they're rodents, dude - wtf? Is that *really* necessary? What's worse, is that he didn't finish them off and they were writhing in pain under the tree. I went over to give him a piece of my mind and he ran in to the house and refused to answer the door, pussy. If I was a gun toting member of society, I would have popped him in the knee a la Jack Bauer and watched him writhe for a bit. {I'm a frighteningly good shot too... and was the best marksperson in the corps in college}. I can't handle people that are cruel to animals like that.

Then, a few moments ago I checked the forecast:

Rain...snow and light sleet likely in the morning...then rain...snow and sleet in the afternoon. Breezy. Snow and sleet accumulation up to 2 inches. Highs in the upper 30s. Temperatures steady or slowly falling in the afternoon. East winds 15 to 25 mph with gusts to around 45 mph. Chance of precipitation 100 percent.

Translation: Suck. Cold. Suck. (Sleeting like mad and hailing/ raining ice pellets now).

Snow...breezy. Snow may be heavy at times in the evening. Snow accumulation of 3 to 6 inches. Storm total snow accumulation of 4 to 8 inches. Lows in the upper 20s. Northeast winds 15 to 25 mph. Chance of precipitation 100 percent.

Translation: Suck. Commute home will, well - suck. Snow. Suck. Sleet. Suck. Howling wind. Suck.

Cloudy. Chance of snow in the morning. Highs in the mid 30s. North winds 10 to 15 mph. Chance of precipitation 50 percent.

Tuesday Night
Partly cloudy. Colder. Lows around 18. North winds 5 to 10 mph.

Translation: More suckage. Plants you just put in will die a wintry frozen horrible death, if they've not already given up. Hahahahahahahaha. You thought Spring was here didn't you SUCKA!

Partly cloudy. Highs in the upper 30s. North winds 5 to 10 mph.

Wednesday Night
Cloudy with a 30 percent chance of more snow. Lows in the upper 20s.

Translation: Heh. Now Improved - with more Suck!

I hope my week doesn't match the forecast. Why again did I leave the sunny tropics?


At 9:23 AM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

I say, chuck it. Tell work you're sick and go home. Get a nice hot cup of your preferred beverage and cuddle up under some blankets with a good book and some snacks. Call it a mental health day and ignore the suckfest going on outside.

At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Jennie said...

that's a lot of suckage you got going on there Thalia, I suggest going next door and taking it out on that peice of dogcrap that hurts small fury animals rodents or not he is a prick and should be punished.... often....

At 2:27 PM, Anonymous wessel said...

I don't understand people who want to make animals suffer. What harm do squirrels do, anyway? Is there something I'm missing? They're quiet, they mostly hang out in the trees, and they find their own nuts.

Maybe you need to send some moles over to his place to work on his lawn.

At 5:03 PM, Anonymous KIMMER said...

I don't even know why someone would shoot a damn squirrel. WTF? Good for you for going to his house!
My father had a squirrel that lived in his back yard. We would feed him peanuts every evening. He would get close enough to take the peanuts out of our hands.
Sorry about the boot and the sucky weather also.


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