A bad case of the mondays

How to acquire a "bad case of the Mondays"

1. Oversleep.
2. No, I'm serious... really oversleep. Make your husband think you are dead when he tries to wake you.
3. Finally wake up and scream expletives while seeing that you should have already been at work (and realize that work is at least an hour away).
4. Fight jealousy to see husband (still in pajamas) cuddled up on couch with nice soft blanket and sell-out cat.
5. Trip on weedeater on the porch.
6. Silently cuss husband for leaving said weedeater on the porch.
7. Feel guilty, and realize that at least you don't have to do the yard.
8. Lose keys.
9. Frantically search for them.
10. Realize they are in the lock in the front door.
11. Get in car, promptly stick fingernail through last pair of stockings you own.
12. Decide to go ahead with the 80s shredded hose look, since you're too late to stop for another pair.
13. Fight traffic.
14. Stub toe (and scuff shoe) trying to hurry through parking garage.
15. Sit at desk, heave huge sigh and start working on project you should have finished over the weekend.
16. While computer is debating on whether it's going to start, look to cheery calendar for the funny quote of a day to cheer you up.
17. Read quote, "I got married and we had a baby nine months and ten second later" - Jayne Mansfield.
18. Cuss silently under breath and begin a new week.