Saturday, April 01, 2006

Spring Forward, Fall Back

I don't really understand why we still use Daylight Savings Time, considering that we're not an agrarian economy dependent on the utilization of natural daylight. But, of course, no one asked for my opinion now did they?

I spent the day at the park today, feeding the ducks - throwing a football around, watching the first glimpses of Spring. Tulips have started blooming, the daffodils are out in force, and all the trees in town are aflame with blooms. Jeans were a bad choice today, as it was quite warm. I napped for a bit on a blanket underneath the sun (note to self- remember sunscreen, as I've now got my first burn of the year and will have hundreds of new freckles tomorrow).

As I was laying there, I was reminded of a particular memory back from when I was 18. It was early spring and my last "real" semester of college. [I actually graduated from college in August '98 - but that Spring was my last real semester, as I had only a few classes to finish over the summer]. I had just ended (sadly, only a temporary reprieve) an incredibly unhappy relationship and had skipped class to just be. I lived alone, in a tiny one bedroom apartment, and I spent the day not doing anything really in particular - but it was incredibly relaxing.

Fresh from the shower, I was laying on my bed nude (an oddity for a girl who was so insecure at that time about herself - and still am at times), the abutting window open to let in the spring air. My window looked out over a deep thicket of trees, and the melodious sound of sparrows chirping was the sweetest symphony I have ever heard. The wind was perfuming my apartment with the intoxicating scent of a pink hyacinth sitting on the windowsill in a hand-me-down crystal vase. I remember the lip of the vase was slightly chipped on one side, and the flower drooped slightly into the crevice created.

The wind was billowing the creamy lace curtains over my face, and as they gently brushed my cheeks I remember feeling so blissfully happy... so content. I laughed softly as I watched the shadows splayed over the ceiling - as they seemed to dance with each gust. I contemplated the irony of this lace veil against the one that I had (seemingly) discarded.

Never, perhaps, have I more tangibly believed in a world of limitless opportunity - of hope - of innocent pleasure and beauty than I did that afternoon. I cannot profess to know why our minds hold on to such moments - which are seemingly innocuous, unconnected to any other moment of deemed significance. But that doesn't mean I can't be thankful. I miss that taste of hopeful innocence. I miss that feeling of promise of a fruitful season to come.

I'm hoping that I can remember to not just set forward the clocks, but my life. That I can trust in my own strength, in my own heart to move forward.


At 12:18 PM, Blogger Summer said...

It sounds like you have started to trust yourself to move forward and you have a certain peace about you.

This post was very moving.

At 3:03 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Time to find some hyacinths. Scent can be so evocative.

At 5:40 PM, Blogger Donna said...

There are so few of these moments in life, where we feel completely safe and happy and content...that's why you remember it, because it was important. Spring forward indeed.


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