Friday, October 28, 2005

A-R-T Lifestyle

Floor Cake*
Motorcade of Infertility (2005)
A-R-T Lifestyle

Well, Your Ampule Collection Looks Shiny and Costly
How Much Did you Pay for Your Bad Follitropins?
And How Much Did You Spend on Your IVF Packet?
Is It Your or Your R.E. In This Income Tax Bracket?

Now Repronex Injections and Progesterone Pills
Sometimes For Protocol You Haven't Even Heard Of.
And How Much Did You Pay For Your Follicular Scan?
That Proves You Were There,
That You Counted Them First?

How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?
How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?
How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?
Ahhhh, Tell Me.

How Much Did You Pay For the Painful HSG,
The One Ruthlessly Injected At The Beginning of the Cycle?
And How Much Will You Pay for a Rising HCG,
One Begged and Prayed For At The End Of Another Cycle?
And How Long Will the Nurses Keep Cycling You Again?
As Long as Your Credit Cards are Open, Free and Willing.
And How Long Will the R.E. Keep Cycling You Again?
As Long As Your Credit Cards are Open, Free and Willing

Aging Ute, Ovaries And Hospital Bills
Tube Removal and Dozens of Pills
Your Bits Pay Dearly Now For Youthful Magic Moments
But Conception is Possible Now With Extracted Components

How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?
How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?
How Do You Afford Your A-R-T Lifestyle?

Excess Ain't Rebellion.
You're Injecting What They're Selling.
Your Hyperstimulation Doesn't Hurt Them.
Your Barenness Won't Convert Them.
They're So Happy To Treat It.
You'll Never Really Cure It.
Yeah, Excess Ain't Rebellion
You're Injecting What They're Selling
Yeah, Excess Ain't Rebellion
You're Injecting
You're Injecting
You're Injecting What They're Selling.

* With sincere apologies to John McCrea and the real "Cake", a band I love dearly. Obviously, my mind is not on work, and I need to go home.

10 Comments:

At 11:41 PM, Blogger Lindy said...

That made my night. Way more fun than the lame Oktoberfest we just returned from.

You're a funny, funny gal.

 
At 8:07 AM, Blogger Kimmer said...

Love it! Sorry to say I've paid to much though. I think we all have.

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger Calliope said...

WOW! That is sadly a new anthem of mine.
Take the show on the road!

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Blue said...

Brilliant!

 
At 11:27 AM, Anonymous Molly said...

Floor cake - ha!

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

I love people who can do this - I can't! Thanks April, you said what we were all saying, and you said it in tune.

 
At 3:33 PM, Blogger Lisa P. said...

April, thanks for commenting on my blog the other day; I'll check yours out as well. And the lyric changes are FABULOUS!

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Donna said...

I also love Cake! This was just brilliant. My favorite Cake song is "Shut the Fuck Up".

 
At 8:07 AM, Blogger Larisa said...

I LOVE Cake - and I love your adaptation! Hilarious!

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous mm said...

Pure genius.

 

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