Eighteen

I remember in my early teen years yearning to be 18. It seemed like it was a "magical" age that with it, suddenly I would be recognized as an adult, and would have a "grown up" life. I couldn't wait to get there.

Although I've given up temping every day, I still chart (although admittedly somewhat half-heartedly) but I keep chugging the numbers, and as I've watched the days turn into months, then into quarters, then into a year, then more, I sort of became numb to it. I rationalized that we weren't pregnant because we weren't having enough sex, that we weren't trying hard enough, that maybe we didn't really want it.

Then today, I noticed I've been using fertility friend for eighteen cycles. 18. That's a year and a half. Wow. And to think that I didn't bother buying the premier membership because, in my thoughts, I'd never stick around long enough to use it.