Monday, Monday...

I tried to post some pictures this a.m., really - but it appears that my scanner (a 4 in 1 fax, copier, printer, *ahem* wannabe scanner that is) is indeed the spawn of Satan himself and doesn't *do* mornings. So I decided that I would post a picture of me in my "matronly" (as Michael grumpily calls it) light green chenille bathrobe using my digital camera. Did I mention I had hot rollers in my hair? And no makeup? And I was sitting in the dimly lit basement cussing up a blue streak? Well, apparently the fright skeeved the poor camera out, and it bitterly refused to force my horrible visage upon your poor unsuspecting eyes. Yeah, that or the damn batteries in it were dead, a.g.a.i.n. Seriously that camera eats batteries like they're those yummy little miniature Milky Way Midnight chocolates that are sitting in the foyer. Well, I'm blaming the camera anyway on both accords.

Nonetheless, I promise, pictures are forthcoming at some point this weekend after I have performed appropriate exorcism rites over the scanner (i.e. finding and reinstalling the *$%&ing software) or feeding my camera more candy, I mean batteries. And I've gotten a few cool e-mail requests for others so I'll try to cobble those together as well.

I went in for a scan this a.m. as my clinic does not apparently do scans or bloodwork over the weekend. At this point, this is what I'm dealing with:

• Cycle Day 7
• Taken 4 shots of Follistim 150 IU thus far, starting on CD 3. (technically tonight is day 5 of stims). I'm petrified of shots, but to be honest, they're really not bad at all. The pen is incredibly easy to use, and I've had some bruising - but I bruise really easily anyway.
• E2 levels: 199 (the doctor said this is "right on target" based on follicular growth). Google U says that the level should be 100 or above after 4 days of recombinant FSH such as Follistim. At the time of trigger, it should be 150-250 pgm per 15 mm or greater follicle.

O.k. - begin mild deviation from topic. The R.E.'s office is thankfully devoid of round pregnant bellies although it is at the end of the hall next to a midwifery practice. Thankfully, there were a number of sweatpants rocking in the R.E.'s office this morning. However, while I'm waiting on the phlebotomist (a.k.a. leech, bloodletter) with my arm poised waiting for the needle, her 21 month old daughter comes barrelling up the hallway to see her. Her name, Emma - the name we've chosen for a daughter. I was trying really hard to hold my shit together, and hoping that it's a good omen or something.

• Left Ovary: three total follicles at 14, 11 and 9. What happened to my 17 mm cyst?
• Right Ovary: (the underachiever) two total follicles , one at 11 and one at 9. The follicles need to be at 15-16 mm to contain fertilizable eggs. For a gonadotropin cycle, mature follicle size is considered between 16-20 mm. Evidently, if you're on a clomid cycle, mature follicle size is considered between 18-30 mm, and those cycles are triggered when follicle size is 17-26 mm. Why the difference? Hell if I know. All I know for me personally is that clomid was so last year.

Another small deviation. I'm a little chatty today o.k.? I told Michael as we were driving to dinner last night that what happened would be dependent on what the dildocam saw today. He looked at me, and said dildo - what? He thought it was hilarious. "Wandmonkey" made him laugh so hard he nearly swerved into a parked car. O.k., back to topic.

• The doctor wants, based on my age and results thus far, no more than 3-5 mature follicles at trigger. Considering that they grow approximately 2 mm a day, by Monday (the anticipated trigger date) assuming these follicles continue to grow - we'll have follicles at 20,17 and 15 on the left, and 17 and 15 on the right.
• If there are more than six follicles at or greater than 15mm, or if my Estradiol levels are greater than 1500 pg/ml on Monday, then the cycle will likely be cancelled due to the likelihood of high order implantation.

The uterine lining should be between 7-12 mm in thickness on the day of trigger, with better results obtained if the lining is at least 9 mm thick and trilaminar (or "triple striped"). Implantation (oh that's funny) should take place 5-6 days after the IUI.

In short, three more nights of 150 IU Follistim shots (for a total of 7 shots, or 1050 IU) , and hope that everything grows, but stays within reason. IUI is tentatively scheduled for Wed., when of course - of course, the doctor will be in another office, and I can either travel there, or have yet another person up under my skirt. At this point, what's one more person having a hand in there really going to matter? And to think when Michael and I were first together, I refused to have sex with the lights on. Oh how things change.

The good part of today, three separate women have stopped me to tell me how beautiful my shoes are today. One older woman (maybe in her late 50s) said - "honey you must feel like a million bucks today with those shoes!" while I was in the elevator. You know, once she said that - I did. And I thanked her and told her so.