Woo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly

Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore.

I spent most of this weekend "spring cleaning" in preparation for my mother-in-law's upcoming arrival. Her house is METICULOUSLY clean. Literally you could serve dinner off her floor, like not with plates. As in put the food directly on the floor. This woman with a bad back literally cleans (after her maid has been there) the entire floor with a toothbrush. Me, uh - well, not so much. Look, my house is 'clean' but it is decidedly messy. It drives me insane because I'm anal retentive and very very "type A." I like order and for everything to have a place. Unfortunately, we have way too much stuff to fit in our tiny little house. As a testament to this - my husband and I had SIX coffee makers when we moved in together. SIX. (We've since narrowed it down to three - a to go cuisinart that I believe has never been used, an espresso machine, and a regular Cuisinart coffee grinder/maker which is used daily). We bought eight place settings of Fiestaware this past week, and my MIL is bringing my eleven new place settings of china (Lenox Serpentine Platinum - if you're interested) with her (one place setting is already at my house) so I spent a great deal of time this weekend cleaning out the china cabinet, polishing the silver, and digging deep into the back recesses of the cabinets. {Which, considering that M. is a home brewer, and the malt hidden in the cabinets above the 'frig somehow melted into a big gooey mess is a good thing I guess.}

Why - do you think - that two people should own 34+ wineglasses? Never mind the irish coffee glasses, D.O.F.s, iced beverage glasses, water glasses, dessert glasses, flutes, etc.? Well, they don't - end of story. I started collecting a new Waterford line (Aurora) and I'm trying to make room for it because the glasses are GINORMOUS. Let's just say that my best friend and the local charity shop are inheriting a CRAP load of new crystal/glassware and kitchen implements.

But I hate cleaning in silence, and spent a lot of time listening to good 'cleaning' music - (John Lee Hooker, Hole, random punk stuff, Bob Marley, the Beatles, and Green Day). However, I grew tired of singing along for a while - and had the t.v. on in the background and I must have heard that damn Mary Tyler Moore juvenile diabetes commercial about twenty times in the space of two hours. Look, I love children. I do, really. And I would love to someday have a few of my own. But everytime I hear the kid describe their "childhood hero" and they say "It could be a mommy" I cringe.

Finally I just turned the t.v. off, cranked up the Joss Stone and went back to work. Yeah kid, it could be a mommy, but if that's the case I am sure as shit not going to be your hero.

BAH!