Attorneys Gone Wild!

N’awlins was wonderful, aside from losing my step on a curb on Bourbon St. and stepping into a melange of thrown out beer, piss, used condoms (yes, in the street), random bits of food and puke in the morning on my way to Café du Monde. That was pretty nasty. And by pretty nasty, I mean I could have willingly amputated my foot with a broken fork just to get the filth off of me. Other than that, it was great.

I single handedly made crawfish an endangered species. I also single handedly provided both Café du Monde and Pat O’ Briens with enough money to comfortably post an annual profit for the next three years. I corrupted a table of frat boys (and no, I will not tell you how). I kissed a girl in front of the “Jesus hates Sin” placard holders who were broadcasting via bull horn about the threat of fiery damnation just for the hell of it. We caught mad beads. Beads that were ten feet long and three inches in diameter. Beads that lit up. Beads with giant fleur de lis on them. Beads with redheaded mermaids on them (my favorites). Beads with Mardi Gras masks on them. Beads that well – took up two suitcases on the way home. And yes, we brought them all home.

My period started while I was there. And so begins my lenten season. Can I give it up for lent please? Please?