Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Seethingly angry

First, thank you for all who have contacted me via blog, e-mail, IM, etc. to check on me. I'm surprisingly o.k.

Anger is literally pouring out of every pore in my body right now - inextricably entwined with such overbearingly heavy sadness. I am honestly dumbfounded to find that such a vindictive, and simply evil person could exist. To find out that there are indeed two of you is even more pathetic. To find out that these people have the opportunity to corrupt and malign the minds of young people makes bile rise in the back of my throat. Perhaps it is naive, but I truly believe in the inherent goodness of the human race. To be confronted on such a personal level with such depravity and bitter vitrol, I am finding myself mystified - perplexed and saddened that such a person is given the privilege to breathe the same air as common criminals.

Perhaps this person is truly sick, and needs medical assistance and intervention. Perhaps it is a factor of immaturity and spite. Maybe they are truly just evil, the thick bubbling sludge left over at the very rock bottom of the gene pool. I don't know.

And in addition to the anger, I find myself oddly pitying them. Shaking my head, wondering what could possibly possess someone to create such havoc and inflict so much pain on not just one person - but an entire family of innocent bystanders. What causes a person to lash out like that? Is it a misfiring of neurons, being picked on too many times as a child, being uncomfortable and unhappy with their own existence to the extent that they feel compelled to pull down others to their same abysmally low level? Is jealousy truly personified as a green monster? I don't understand the psyche of what makes someone so off - so seriously emotionally unstable. I don't understand how someone like this could have a soul, a heart that beats like the rest of us.

Right now I'm focusing on mopping up the mess that has been caused, and trying to comfort those that I love. Right now, I'm trying to simply get through the day without breaking down, to simply keep going and try to be strong for those that need me. To be strong for myself.

And it's hard. It's really fucking hard. To be in the midst of the holidays makes it even harder.

But what I'm proudest of, is that the person who has been hurt by this the most isn't giving up. They aren't throwing in the towel and letting it go. They are fighting tooth and nail and I hope they know that I will be there, always beside them to support them and love them unconditionally. You see, the old cliche is true - evil does not triumph in the end.

This is the extent that I will elaborate upon it any further on my blog, as I do not feel comforable discussing something so wretchedly vile here. This is not a fight that should be conducted in cyberspace, but rather in the courts. And so there it will be.

I hope you're ready to face us there.

29 Comments:

At 8:00 PM, Blogger lyricist said...

Um - glad you are ok - but very confused. Any chance you might give a two line summary of what happened?

 
At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Alexa said...

April, I am so sorry you are going through this, whatever it is. As if you don't have enough to deal with--I hope whomever has hurt you/your family gets exactly what they deserve.

 
At 10:30 PM, Blogger Kim said...

I'm so sorry that this horrible thing is intruding upon your holidays. And you're right, evil never ever wins.

 
At 10:38 PM, Anonymous mm said...

April- I'm just catching up and like everyone else, a bit confused as to what is going on but hoping like Hell that it gets resolved quickly and in your favor. I know what it's like to have your family fucked with and I wish you all the strength and peace you need to deal with this.

 
At 10:46 PM, Anonymous statia said...

Yeah, like everyone else I'm confused, but I hope you're ok. It mystifies me too that there are such evil people out there, but they exsist. Sorry one of them ruined your holiday season.

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger Donna said...

I'm sure you will use your immense talents to help your family through this and through the courts, if that's the way it turns out. I am sorry, whatever happened is obviously beyond the scope of your blog and that's OK, just know we are all here for you.

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

How horrible that something so bad is happening to you and your family. I hope things get resolved quickly and that everyone is okay. We are all on your side, any time you need us.

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous thalia said...

April I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope that it gets resolved to your satisfaction soon.

 
At 8:08 AM, Blogger K&M said...

Whatever it is, it sounds simply awful. I hope its over soon.

Huge hugs,
Kate

 
At 8:10 AM, Anonymous Jenn said...

Whatever happened, I'm sorry.

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger Dee said...

Glad to hear that you're okay. Hopefully the court will mete out justice to whoever the vile biatch is.

Keep on truckin' my friend...and give 'em hell.

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Mrs. T said...

So sorry to hear that evil people have hurt you and your family. They will get what they deserve in the end. Stay strong and fight away. Thinking of you!

 
At 10:24 AM, Blogger DD said...

I can only hope that once you have put these trolls into their place that they learn something from it. That will be better than any amount of justice that will surely be mete out.

 
At 10:35 AM, Anonymous wessel said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you have evil trolls in your midst -- May you vanquish your enemies speedily!

Sigh.

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Calliope said...

wow. I hope whatever is going on is resolved in the way that you wish. Try not to let the anger of it rule you - I think you are very wise to pity them. I know, easy for me to say when I don't know jack. Kick some ass!

 
At 1:30 PM, Anonymous T said...

Good God April - this is awful. I also hope for a speedy resolution for your and your loved ones. But I must say, this was absolutely beautifully written.

 
At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Nancy said...

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, and even worse during the holidays. I think you're on the right track with the courts, and the way you are handling this. If not there's always The Count of MonteCristo.

 
At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm just catching up after an absence, and this is just shocking. Do whatever you have to do to give this person the consequences they deserve. We're all here for you.

Celeste

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

I hope things turn out for the best for you and your family.

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger Larisa said...

I don't really know what's going on, but respect your wishes to not disclose.

I hope that you get some resolution on this issue.

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger Anna said...

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time with your family right now. I wish the best for you and your family and hope the issue is resolved swiftly and with justice. Good luck with everything, and be well.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

Again, no idea, but hope that it resolves positively and soon. You sound very strong and very calm - good weapons against evil. Good luck.

 
At 3:25 AM, Blogger Millie said...

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and sorry you're having to deal with whatever you're having to deal with.Hope you get the desired resolution soon.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger Lisa P. said...

Whatever this is, I'm sorry it's so bad. Here's to kicking ass and taking names...

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger deanna said...

I'm so very sorry that your family is suffering this way. Though I don't understand the situation, I can certainly sense your despair, and hope that all will be mended soon. Take good care.

 
At 1:16 PM, Anonymous TB said...

Hi, I just found your blog and don't know much about you or your situation. But I wanted to say I'm sorry you and your family are going through something awful.

Based on your description of this person, they may very well be mentally ill. There are several diseases that cause this type of behavior and there is not a lot of emotional stability associated with any of them so just be careful.

 
At 7:37 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Wow... obviously you will disclose whatever you feel comfortable with... but just know... that you can add one more person to your list of supporters.

Take no prisoners, girlfriend.

 
At 11:37 PM, Blogger Nico said...

I'm so sorry you have this crap to deal with on top of everything else. I hope it resolves as quickly and painlessly as possible.

 
At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

I don't know what's happened, but I hope things work out for the best.

 

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