Seethingly angry

First, thank you for all who have contacted me via blog, e-mail, IM, etc. to check on me. I'm surprisingly o.k.

Anger is literally pouring out of every pore in my body right now - inextricably entwined with such overbearingly heavy sadness. I am honestly dumbfounded to find that such a vindictive, and simply evil person could exist. To find out that there are indeed two of you is even more pathetic. To find out that these people have the opportunity to corrupt and malign the minds of young people makes bile rise in the back of my throat. Perhaps it is naive, but I truly believe in the inherent goodness of the human race. To be confronted on such a personal level with such depravity and bitter vitrol, I am finding myself mystified - perplexed and saddened that such a person is given the privilege to breathe the same air as common criminals.

Perhaps this person is truly sick, and needs medical assistance and intervention. Perhaps it is a factor of immaturity and spite. Maybe they are truly just evil, the thick bubbling sludge left over at the very rock bottom of the gene pool. I don't know.

And in addition to the anger, I find myself oddly pitying them. Shaking my head, wondering what could possibly possess someone to create such havoc and inflict so much pain on not just one person - but an entire family of innocent bystanders. What causes a person to lash out like that? Is it a misfiring of neurons, being picked on too many times as a child, being uncomfortable and unhappy with their own existence to the extent that they feel compelled to pull down others to their same abysmally low level? Is jealousy truly personified as a green monster? I don't understand the psyche of what makes someone so off - so seriously emotionally unstable. I don't understand how someone like this could have a soul, a heart that beats like the rest of us.

Right now I'm focusing on mopping up the mess that has been caused, and trying to comfort those that I love. Right now, I'm trying to simply get through the day without breaking down, to simply keep going and try to be strong for those that need me. To be strong for myself.

And it's hard. It's really fucking hard. To be in the midst of the holidays makes it even harder.

But what I'm proudest of, is that the person who has been hurt by this the most isn't giving up. They aren't throwing in the towel and letting it go. They are fighting tooth and nail and I hope they know that I will be there, always beside them to support them and love them unconditionally. You see, the old cliche is true - evil does not triumph in the end.

This is the extent that I will elaborate upon it any further on my blog, as I do not feel comforable discussing something so wretchedly vile here. This is not a fight that should be conducted in cyberspace, but rather in the courts. And so there it will be.

I hope you're ready to face us there.