Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Popcorn & Juniormints

I didn't go to my appointment yesterday. I just decided that I wanted to have some time to rest, and to focus on getting the rest of our life in order right now. I need to be packing and picking out paint, and figuring out how to trick Spring into coming early so I can start puttering in the yard. [wow that last part made me sound like an octogenerarian. Heh. but not the fertile octogenerian (only the lawyerly types will get that bad joke). Puttering? pretty soon I'll be breaking out the geritol and having my hair dyed blue again* I suppose.]

And, I sincerely hope my last post didn't offend anyone. I wasn't trying to imply that I was more deserving or more worthy than any of my fellow infertiles in the trenches to get to the "other" side. I realize that this isn't a competition, and I don't want my pathetic little whiny attitude to detract from the amazing support system in the blogosphere. And trust me, I'm amazed. Absolutely amazed by the support of each of you.

Michael called to tell me that UPS left a package for me today. A package? I wasn't expecting any package. I thought it must have come to the wrong house so I did the most logical thing I could think of - let's OPEN it and find out if the neighbors got some kind of kinky sex toy! Er, I mean, it was addressed to me and since I'm ah, a little impatient, I made him open it with me on the phone and describe to me what the package was.

He said, it's like a CD or something. And I'm repeating "openitopenitopenit" and he said - FINE - it's that movie you were yammering on about the other day. [yammering? dear God we're ancient]. It's the Last Unicorn! (really there was an exclamation there).

So thank you Sarah. Thank you tremendously ... for reminding me that in the end, all the other unicorns who had been driven into the ocean were set free and came galloping onto the shore, knocking the evil wizard's castle into the sea. And the last unicorn wasn't the only unicorn anymore.

And thank you for giving me a tangible reminder of hope and for letting me blantantly steal your saying and use it here.

It's going to be ok in the end. And if it's not ok, then it's not the end.

Tonight we'll be eating popcorn and junior mints (together, you must put the junior mints IN the hot popcorn and mix it all up. I thought it was gross too until I tried it) and reminding ourselves, it's not the end. It's not the end.

*Actually it's never been blue, but it was bright lime green for awhile when I went through a rather staunch punk phase at 16 and I was hanging out in the music and arts dorm all the time.


At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

You are most welcome! Enjoy and save me a Jr. Mint. Those things are awesome.

At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

Nope, it's not the end.

I had my eyebrows dyed blue once, does that count?

At 5:18 PM, Blogger Tendaironi said...

I didn't think you sounded as though you were more worthy than the rest of us, you just sounded weary. We understood. This process is a tiring, emotional rollercoaster. I have hit walls a couple times over the past 9 years, but I prefer to think of them as extended breaks. I used the time to enjoy my alone time with my husband and trying to live in the moment without longing for children to complete our family. It was very restorative and I was able to start the next round with hope. I wish that for you over the next few months, rest and hope.

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Liz said...

You have every reason to feel the way you do. I'm glad you got a glimpse of hope.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger daysgoby said...

Jr Mints?? Really? See, we do M&Ms in our popcorn here...

At 8:57 PM, Blogger DD said...

That was very sweet of Sarah. What a heart.

Actually, it feels good to have a moment like you did, right? Letting off steam lets you come back to us with a more buoyed sense of hope.

Keep it up.

At 4:23 AM, Blogger MC said...

It's good to vent, I didn't think that you thought you were more worthy or anything like that.

At 9:06 AM, Anonymous Alexa said...

How lovely of Sarah. I am glad you are feeling a bit better, and I hope these next few months are happy, peaceful ones for you.

At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Jen said...

Mmm...that sounds like a deliciously evil combination of two of my favorite movie foods! I'm also a fan of popcorn & peanut M&Ms, or popcorn & Mike & Ike.

As for the fertile it wrong that I hate that b*tch?

At 10:14 PM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

Sarah, how lovely! What a kind gesture.

April, good on you for doing what you need to in order to feel comfortable. I just wish all of this wasn't so painful...for any of us. your neighbors often order kinky sex toys? Just curious.


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