Counting the days.

Thanks for all the very considerate and touching comments a lot of you made on the last post. I know Granny didn't mean to hurt me, she and I have had a very close relationship for a long time - as she raised me essentially on her own from the time I was 12 until I left for college a month after turning 16. Her home was my home until I married the first time. I know she's frustrated with how much this hurts me, and I know her illness prevents her from articulating those fears and anger in a way that I think is appropriate. I love her, which is part of what made the hurt so unbearable. It's nice to have people "get it" - and even for those that commented who couldn't exactly understand because they aren't in our particular predicament, thank you for your empathy. It helped ease the hurt quite a bit.

I forgot how irritating it is to be on progesterone, although I have to say that only taking half the dose orally has helped alleviate a lot of the rather unfortunate symptoms I had before. I finally managed to get in for my progesterone blood work yesterday - on cycle day 22. The fuck? How is it that time has gone by so quickly? Of course, by this time in the last injectible/IUI cycle I had already started to bleed for two days, so I'm not holding out much hope. But, I've been on progesterone for 9 days as of today, and so far not even spotting- so that's good, I guess.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night, often frightened from the whacked out crazy ass dreams I've been having. Usually a heavy sleeper, I wake up at least three to four times a night now - which is pretty damn irritating. Once I'm up, inevitably Michael starts to snore. It's like he's taunting me. And as of late, it's not been just a normal snore. Poor thing is still sick, and it's the kind of snore you need those giant earmuff looking protective earwear things that airline workers wear while they're guiding the planes on the ground during taxiing. [Is taxiing a word? It looks wrong, but if it's not a word, I just made it one.] It's so loud that he woke himself up two days ago and asked what in the world that awful noise was. *snicker* Or Alex (our 22 pound cat who sleeps on the bed) starts to snore, and to be honest, sometimes Alex is just as loud as Michael. And it's either get up and sleep in the other bedroom or strangle him, or the cat, or both... and well, orange jumpsuits don't really flatter my figure I'm afraid.

As a result, I've resorted to sleeping in the guest bedroom with the door closed.

I keep waking up without any clothes on, drenched with sweat. There was a time in my life that this meant I had likely had too much fun, of the variety you don't discuss with your parents. Unfortunately it's not the case now, I don't remember being this hot ever in my life... and all I can say is dear God it's going to be awful to be going through menopause. I guess I'm just getting so hot that I strip my clothes off in the middle of the night, as I usually find them in a damp heap on the floor next to my side of the bed.

And thankfully, the heating vent in the guest room is closed off, so the sheets there are cold.

I've had light cramps for the last two days, but not exactly like pms type cramps. Duller and more achy. It's difficult to explain. I'm not expecting to be pregnant, I don't think I'm pregnant, and I know that the progesterone is causing this crap... which makes it suck more I think.

Our mortgage was approved yesterday morning (sort of a surprise to me, as I didn't think that we'd be able to qualify for such a hefty chunk of change) and we signed all the loan paperwork today. It's nice to have that part done. We will close on the house the last day of this month. It's a little irritating because the house is actually in a different state than where we live now, even though it's maybe 10-15 minutes away, so we'll have to re-register the cars, get new driver's licenses, etc. etc.

Remember back last fall, when we planted close to 1,000 bulbs around our current abode? Yeah. About that. Not such a good move on my part. I'm leaving part of them, and I'm going to try to transplant some others this weekend into the new house's gardens. Who knows if it'll work, as it's supposed to be a record high today, and then snow tomorrow. As long as the ground isn't frozen, I'm going to give it a shot.

And of course, maybe a month ago I finally got rid of all the moving boxes from the basement.

Beta is on Tuesday, if I make it that long. A week from then, we close on the house.

It's no surprise that I've developed a nervous tick like Tweak from South Park.