Saturday, June 10, 2006

Drifting

Thank you, each of you - who've stopped by to say hi. Who've e-mailed, called, IMed, texted - who've kept me in your thoughts.

I'm here. Somewhere, drifting along.

There's a lot going on in my life right now. A lot that I can't talk about, that I don't want to talk about, that I don't want to recognize the reality - the possible finality - of.

I'm spending a lot of time trying to figure things out. Trying to find my way, remembering how to believe. In love, in life, in myself.

My heart is simultaneously overflowing and breaking.

I have to admit that I have been extremely lax about checking in on most of you. I still think of all of you, but right now - I can't check in on you. It's too painful.

I'm sorry.

I will soon, I hope.

Right now, right now just trust you're in my thoughts, in my heart.

And I'm thankful for you.

43 Comments:

At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

Glad you are still here. Thinking of you.

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

I'm so sorry you're in a rough spot. I hope things can find a way to improve for you. Life is rough in my neck of the woods, too, so I can certainly relate with feeling unsettled... this during the late spring when the rest of the world is full of such life. Take good care of yourself and know we miss you and wish you well.

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger K&M said...

I hope you ok. We are here when you're ready to lean on us again.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Rebecca said...

I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time, and I hope you find your way to a happier place soon. Thinking of you...

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Summer said...

Take the time you need to take care of yourself in this difficult time. We are here and will be here when you are ready. Thinking of you...

 
At 4:42 PM, Anonymous Leggy said...

I'm sorry things are not going well right now. I hope whatever it is, that you find a resolution that brings you peace. Thinking of you.

 
At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry times are tough right now. My thoughts are with you, and I hope things improve. As everyone else said, we're here if you need us.

Jenny Tschirhart

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger moo said...

April? Oh no, I am concerned. Please know I am here and thinking of you....

moo

 
At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

I'm thinking of you, too.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

I'm sorry to hear about what a rough time you're having. I hope things smooth out soon. Whenever you want to talk, we're here. In the mean time you're in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 9:49 AM, Anonymous Molly said...

We've missed you, April. Hang in there.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Shinny said...

Take care of yourself and know that we are all here for you if/when you need us.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

April,
I'm here thinking of you too. As we said in rugby, "With you!"
KT

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger daysgoby said...

I love the internet. But there are times when I hate it, because I want to say something like 'Darlin', what's wrong?' and hug you, and then sit outdoors and listen to you, swatting at mosquitos and watching the sun go down.
And instead of sounding like a concerned friend, (which I would be if we weren't all in the internet) I come off sounding weirdly stalkerish and scary.

Which I'm not.
Take care of yourself.

 
At 9:15 PM, Anonymous KIMMER said...

Hope all is okay, think of you also.

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger deanna said...

good to see you, sweetie.....so sorry that the news is so sad.....

 
At 7:27 AM, Blogger Nico said...

I'm sorry that you're feeling so overwhelmed. I hope that everything gets worked out soon. Thinking of you...

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger MissDirected said...

I'm sorry things are sucky, but please know that we out in the world are thankful for you, too.

Take care babe.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Tendaironi said...

Good luck with your journey. Take care of yourself on the way.

 
At 7:05 PM, Anonymous caroline said...

Positve thoughts being sent your way - I am so sorry things are tough.

 
At 4:25 AM, Blogger Thalia said...

Sorry that things are so tough right now, April. I'm hoping that you can find your way out of there in your own good time. We'll be here.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Blue said...

Thinking of you and hoping the rough stuff goes away quickly.

 
At 7:21 PM, Blogger Millie said...

I know the rough times all too well and hope that yours end soon. We're all here thinking of you and sending lots of love. We'll still be here. Take good care of yourself.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Donna said...

We're all still here. Allowing yourself to drift and swirl around in all the emotions is healthy, I think. Take care.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Larisa said...

glad you posted, thinking of you.

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger keith721 said...

I've been following your photography on Flickr for weeks and hadn't visited your blog. Whatever is troubling you, I pray you find the strength you need to cope with and defeat it.

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger Sami said...

I hope that whatever rough spot you are in smooths out soon. Take care of yourself.

 
At 1:19 AM, Blogger Nico said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still thinking of you, and hope everything's okay.

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger twirl said...

Thinking of you, and hope you're ok...

 
At 11:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A concerned lurker here. Hope you're taking good care of yourself and feeling better soon.

Jennifer

 
At 3:03 PM, Anonymous pixi said...

I hope you're alright, April. Know that I think of you often.

 
At 11:11 PM, Anonymous KIMMER said...

I do hope things are okay with you, I've been thinking of you!

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

still thinking of you and hoping your ok. miss you.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Nico said...

Still keeping you in my thoughts. I hope that everything is okay.

 
At 2:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Starting to worry... are you okay?

 
At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Erin said...

hey, just checking in on you. Hope things are okay.

 
At 5:02 AM, Blogger Sami said...

I hate drifting. I hope you are able to find your shore to stable ground. Thinking of you and hoping you're okay.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Summer said...

April, you are still in my thoughts these days. I hope you are finding your way through your struggles.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Thalia said...

still dropping by to check on you. hope you are doing ok.

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

I'm with the others. You've been absent for awhile and I hope you are ok.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger moo said...

I still check in - hoping you will have posted "I'm back!!". Hope you are well.You are missed.

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger daysgoby said...

A -

I hope you're doing well, safe and happy.

 
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