Monday, June 04, 2007

I used to blog, now I take pictures...

Testing - Testing - 1-2-3...

*clears throat*

I doubt anyone even checks in on this anymore. Nonetheless, here goes...

Things have been rough this past year, to say the least. After much heartache and soul searching M and I decided to split up last fall. The breakdown of the relationship was one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with (perhaps even more so because in a lot of ways it was my fault). After first moving to the second bedroom last year, I finally moved out of the house for good early this spring. I'm now living in Chicago. He kept the house and the cats. I took my bed, the china, my car, and my clothes. Both of us took five years of memories that can't be measured with monetary value. I certainly never expected our relationship to end this way. Such is life, I suppose. You'd think two legal people could get through the divorce quickly and efficiently, but that isn't nearly as easy as one would hope. It's pending, expected to be finalized this month I guess. It's a dreadfully painful experience, even when it's what both parties really want.

I miss him. But I firmly believe this is what's best for both of us. I'm starting over. Slowly. Some days are horrifically difficult. But you keep going.

Right now, what helps is my photography. I think I'd like to start blogging again, because I really do miss it. A lot of times the pictures are easier than the words though. This blog isn't the right place for me to pour out my heart and soul though. This chapter in my life is nearing its end, and I feel as if I somehow would be cheapening all that he and I went through together if I put it here. So I guess this is a formal goodbye from here.

Feel free to e-mail me if you'd like to know where the new blog will be.