Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Wireless Plans

Dear Sprint,

I am tired of you. Fed up with you more than I am at the seemingly endless fertility of K-Fed. I am tired of the fact that I can stand right outside your world headquarters and have no service. I am tired that I constantly have dropped calls, that I'm treated by your "customer service" department (and I use that term very loosely) like I am a burden to your company - although you've gotten about $100 a month from me since uh, 1998 or something. My loyalty to you - is GONE.

I am officially done with you. And I want a new camera phone with video capability anyway.

Please don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya on your way out.


So, who do you use for your cell service? What phone do you have?

Have you had a bad experience with your company? Or a previous company?

Give me the scoop.

Monday, April 10, 2006

How observant are you?

I'm not big on forwards - but this little quiz intrigued me. It's based on U.S. info, and the average person only supposedly gets 7 correct. The questions are all based on average, ordinary things you see often, but demonstrates how little most of us really notice about life. I got more than seven, but missed a lot more than I expected.

How many can you get right? These simple questions are more difficult than you think (or at least they were to me). No cheating, no looking around, or using anything on or in your desk or computer. The answers are in the first comment.

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA? (This troubles me if you're a U.S. resident and you can't answer this...)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or leftleg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?

10 Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?(obviously this will be a different answer for those down under)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run? (i.e. toward the top of the circle from left to right or the bottom)

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial? (I've never seen a t.v. with a VHF dial, so yeah.. I got it way wrong)

13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons? (Don't look down and check)

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15 How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package? (this has always irked me)

21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the device that adjusts theopening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Hired help

As most of you know that have been reading for some time, I grew up poor. As in "I take it there will be no side items with our waffles tonight" poor. Which makes me nearly ashamed to say that I have a maid. He, yes he came today when I was at work for the first time in the new house... and I think - I think I am in love.

Oh sure, I had to leave a check on the table for more money than I've made in a week before, but when I got home everything was clean. Spotless. And I didn't have to do it. He even put away the clean dishes in the dishwasher. Where, I'm not really sure yet - but they're not there anymore. The grout in the tub was cleaned. The toilets scrubbed, the couches de-cat-furred. Fresh towels were in the bathroom, the furniture was waxed, the floors scrubbed.

I felt so silly all day for spending the money to have him clean, but I am so thankful to walk in to a clean house. Now, if he could only cook too ... then I'd surely keep him on the payroll.

A girl could get used to this. My best friend has started razzing me about this to no end, and has now deemed me a "JoCoHo w/maid" or "JCHWM." Hmpf.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

It was one hundred degrees, as we sat beneath a willow tree

Whose tears didn't care, they just hung in the air, and refused to fall, to fall.

I drive the same way to work everyday, but I usually take any number of backroads home at night. On the way into work there's a large heavily wooded plot that is currently being stripped and built up - some new development is likely going in I guess. Maybe a strip mall. Apartments, who knows.

In the midst of the lot, a huge 40 foot willow tree stood guard. Beautiful, sinewy limbs curled out from the trunk, sweeping across the ground, caressing the air. Over the last two weeks, I've watched as workmen in heavy machinery cut down and disposed of all the trees except that one. It stood proudly amongst the ruins, the fresh spring green leaves sprouting on its enormous canopy. It was an odd juxtaposition next to the shattered remains of its brethren... a breath of hope in a sea of destruction.

This morning, as I passed, I noticed it too was gone.

I think I'll drive home another way tonight.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


I used to understand what faith meant. I used to believe that there was a divine plan, a reason for things that seemed unfair.

I don't anymore.

I refuse to believe in the God that my parents believed in because I refuse to believe that those who are good, that are wonderful - decent - loving - caring people deserve to be the ones who bear the brunt of pain. I refuse to believe that it's all part of a "bigger plan" and that "it'll work out." Why would someone so wonderful deserve to hurt? To have their hopes and dreams snatched from them? There are a lot of people I love that are hurting right so deeply right now. My heart is weary with sadness for them.

Please go and give Statia some love. She's perhaps one of the most beautiful, thoughtful, and amazing people I've ever been privileged to have in my life. She could use your thoughts right now.

Monday, April 03, 2006

I'd totally sleep with Jack Bauer, provided he didn't shoot me in the knee

Holy Fucking Twist Batman!

I don't really watch t.v. - aside from the Discovery or History Channel, and CNN Headline News - well, and the occasional episode of Law & Order, but that's it. The thought of reality t.v. makes bile rise in the back of my throat, much to the chagrin of my best friend who is a reality t.v. junkie. I managed a season or two of Sex & the City, The Sopranos & Deadwood before I got bored.

However, I have been sucked in, unwittingly to 24 this season. I've watched every episode, something that is far more of an emotional investment than I've been willing to make before. Which leades me to the conclusion at the end of today's episode:


I need an Old Speckled Hen to process this.

Sunday, April 02, 2006


Insomnia has set in again, and no amount of tossing and turning seems to lull me to sleep. I would give anything to fall into the soft embrace of slumber right now.

Thunder and lightning are keeping me company. I wish they weren't.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Spring Forward, Fall Back

I don't really understand why we still use Daylight Savings Time, considering that we're not an agrarian economy dependent on the utilization of natural daylight. But, of course, no one asked for my opinion now did they?

I spent the day at the park today, feeding the ducks - throwing a football around, watching the first glimpses of Spring. Tulips have started blooming, the daffodils are out in force, and all the trees in town are aflame with blooms. Jeans were a bad choice today, as it was quite warm. I napped for a bit on a blanket underneath the sun (note to self- remember sunscreen, as I've now got my first burn of the year and will have hundreds of new freckles tomorrow).

As I was laying there, I was reminded of a particular memory back from when I was 18. It was early spring and my last "real" semester of college. [I actually graduated from college in August '98 - but that Spring was my last real semester, as I had only a few classes to finish over the summer]. I had just ended (sadly, only a temporary reprieve) an incredibly unhappy relationship and had skipped class to just be. I lived alone, in a tiny one bedroom apartment, and I spent the day not doing anything really in particular - but it was incredibly relaxing.

Fresh from the shower, I was laying on my bed nude (an oddity for a girl who was so insecure at that time about herself - and still am at times), the abutting window open to let in the spring air. My window looked out over a deep thicket of trees, and the melodious sound of sparrows chirping was the sweetest symphony I have ever heard. The wind was perfuming my apartment with the intoxicating scent of a pink hyacinth sitting on the windowsill in a hand-me-down crystal vase. I remember the lip of the vase was slightly chipped on one side, and the flower drooped slightly into the crevice created.

The wind was billowing the creamy lace curtains over my face, and as they gently brushed my cheeks I remember feeling so blissfully happy... so content. I laughed softly as I watched the shadows splayed over the ceiling - as they seemed to dance with each gust. I contemplated the irony of this lace veil against the one that I had (seemingly) discarded.

Never, perhaps, have I more tangibly believed in a world of limitless opportunity - of hope - of innocent pleasure and beauty than I did that afternoon. I cannot profess to know why our minds hold on to such moments - which are seemingly innocuous, unconnected to any other moment of deemed significance. But that doesn't mean I can't be thankful. I miss that taste of hopeful innocence. I miss that feeling of promise of a fruitful season to come.

I'm hoping that I can remember to not just set forward the clocks, but my life. That I can trust in my own strength, in my own heart to move forward.